Colour changes in clothing etc...

by Seb
(Bristol, UK)

Hey All. About 2 months ago I suddenly quit smoking after a pack a day for 37 years, stopped drinking (not that I was a heavy drinker) and had my first cup of coffee today in 6 weeks! I find I can't bear wearing black or dark colours anymore and have given a lot of my dark clothes to friends. I'm buying magenta pinks and oranges and I'm pretty obsessed with the colour aquamarine. I had my first massive awakening 12 years ago. I started getting bad heart palpitations and massive panic attacks about 2 months ago which prompted me to quit smoking, but my ECG is fine, my chest X-ray is clear and a stomach scan was fine apparently after I had it done today according to the dr who did it. I still have pain in my stomach/chest which might be acid reflux, but other than that, I'm relishing the changes that are happening at pretty much turbo speed although I'm still having the odd anxiety attack. I'm also going to be moving to a new flat next month, but I wanted that. I have felt like I'm going thru a huge transition again. My friends and family can't get their heads around it, but they're happy to see me quit smoking etc. My dreams have been weirder than usual (I keep a dream journal) and the other day I dreamt that I saw a white candle that had been lit in a window and a friend had a white flower and she lit it from the candle and laid it down next to the candle. I have had dreams of death/dying and my sleep is all over the place. I also have this weird tingling down the right side of my face every now and then, but I think it's part of the stress/anxiety. All blood tests have been normal. My poor old body doesn't know what's hit it after being neglected for so long. I have since apologized to it and have been feeding it well, drinking herb teas and water, walking and getting sunshine (not often here in the UK) and am going to take up yoga having now started meditating for the 1st time. It's as if I've only just entered this body after being in my mind and having loads of 'cosmic' info being downloaded pretty much everyday for 12 years. I know it's all good, albeit very painful and a tad frightening at times, but I tell myself that the fear brings out my courage (yes, I know fear is an illusion, but all part of the game) to say nothing of all the crying I'm doing at the moment at the slightest thing. To all of you who are going thru the same or similar, We're on our Way. Take Heart and One Love in the Light. Seb.