Although I live in a cool climate, I wake in the early hours of the morning through my body being extremely hot, so hot that I need to remove the sheets and blankets and just lay on top of the bed for 30 mins or so. I then cover my body lightly with a sheet and thin blanket, but leave my feet outside the bed.
I have been feeling so depressed lately, so sad and wanting to give up on everything, feelings of emotion, I feel like running away, leaving behind my partner and this path I am on. I also, at time lose my faith, don't want to meditate, pray, or play my piano, I feel like I am in a deep hole where there is only darkness, this is a terrible feeling like I am helpless.
But then I know that I need to find myself again, so I pray to God to take my hand and lead me through this darkness into His light. I pray to God to send me an Angel to help me, to support me through these terrible times. Some days are better than others, but I do need to find my strength again, I cannot give up now, I have worked too hard to get this far. The difficulty here is there are no groups or like minded people I can mix or befriend, I am actually alone on this journey. This has been the worst year that I can remember, let's hope that 2010 is going to be wonderful.