energy sensitivity or insanity

by Robin B
(Cleveland Tennessee)

I'm having quite a hard time of it. I really don't know what to do, as I'm not sure this is is WHY I'm going through this. But for the past couple of years, I've felt the need to try to help out in the community and I've had nothing but opposition with every step of the way. See, this community is made up soley of "Christians", and since I've come to experience different things than what the Bible teaches, they look at me as "evil", or my favorite one, "of the devil" therefore they all refuse to let me help. On top of that, I've been picking up feelings and even thoughts of others. When I have felt "anger" toward me from some, I confront them in order to resolve any resentments they may have toward me, AND THEY TOTALLY DENY IT. They deny having these feelings of anger and hatred, AND YET, through the gossip vine of this ever so holy city, it always gets back to me later on that what I was saying was indeed the truth of how they were feeling, they just didn't want to "heighten my ego" of knowing, according to them. I'm ready to leave this God awful NEGATIVE city that is suppose to be full of love, because ALL I'M SEEING AND EXPERIENCING is hate. I even had a run in with a group of so called missionaries from Africa who convinced my husband to let them "take care of me" by infusing negativity into my mind. How did they do this? My husband allowed them in our home when I wasn't here, and they wrote on EVERY SINGLE THING in my house. Just words, negative words, then it started to be women's initials with my husband, you know like R loves J, and stuff like that. I kept showing it to my husband, and he would say that I'm just seeing things, or my eyes were playing tricks on me, BUT I showed my best friend, and she saw these things to. Well the way I found out what was going on was I found a letter that the "head" of these missionarys had wrote my husband. In the letter he said, "in order to get rid of the evil in her mind is to obstruct and invade it with negative words. We must bring her to her knees with HER INSANITY." Now I ask you, what kind of rot is this? and this is coming from "Christian missionaries" PLEASE. Well,anyway with the help of Julie Redstone's meditations I was able to come out of this insanity that they were literally driving me though, but now I question my husbands motives on even letting them do this to me. And thats where I am right now. My life pretty much sucks, BUT I'm working on making it better. But since I don't have ANY support, especially from my husband, I feel pretty much ALONE in my plight, but hey, I'm an Aries, and I WILL survive, it just may have to be alone, because I SURE DON'T trust my husband after what he let those missionaries do. And now I think he MAY be having an affair with one of them, but I don't know. He denys it of course. Anyway, that is my story of energy sensitivity.
Light and Love ALWAYS and even though
Robin B.