Feeling more

by joan b
(glasgow)

i feel like theres a floating and heat to the inside of my body
like my body is a warm wind
i feel things opening inside me
i understand the feeling of 'the incredible lightness of being'
i dont want to drink as much alcohol as i did before
...i am already 'feeling no pain'
i have come off all drugs i was on for depression/anxiety
my skin feels softer
my mind kinder
i cry more easily
i can be instantly hurt
there is still a wall between me and people
...but it is a soft wall i can penetrate now
i can really 'reach' inside people
people are drawn to me
i feel i need to warn them about them 'feeling open' to me
i feel the people who are open could be hurt in their soul because they are open
i 'feel' people
i feel anger and pain in another person
i feel distress in other people
i move through fear in to action where i once would not be able too
i have never in my life felt like this before
i do not understand it
i feel worried about this change in my 'being'
is its cause illness?
mental illness?
is there something underlying in my health?
i would not know how to describe to a doctor these things
i think the doctor would think i was mad
i feel a great power attached to this feeling
i cannot allow myself to be hurt
i have to get rid of hurt
i have to work any hurt through
i feel dangerous to people who hurt me
my fight back is powerful and focussed and relentless as i have this clarity of feeling
others do not seem 'tuned into'