Has anyone else experienced this?
Hello, my name is Rachel. I am currently 21 years of age and living nearby New Orleans, Louisiana. It all started around Christmas 2013, one day I suddenly felt like I was in a dream, everything seemed very hazy. I thought nothing of it of course and figured the next day it would go away. So the next day comes around and I still feel very off. I then start to notice that I felt very flu-ish with body aches/chills, fatigue, and a heavy chest but no runny nose or sneezing. All the while I still felt like I was in a dream and then the anxiety crept in. Oh and let me go ahead and mention that I had never ever experienced anything like this in my past and I never had any anxiety problems. So later that day the anxiety really kicked in. I was driving with my boyfriend to pick up some groceries when all of the sudden I felt as if I had taken the red pill in the matrix. Everything just felt so intense and I didn’t know what the hell was happening. I just suddenly felt so overwhelmed, everything just felt so alien to me. I was thinking it must be a side effect of this bug I caught and I didn’t say anything to my boyfriend and I just kept driving. When we arrived at the store I honestly felt like I was on acid. I then noticed pressure in my ears and colors and sounds were intensified and everything just looked so bizarre, like for instance when I looked at people, they looked the same but it was like I was looking at them in a different way almost as if I really started to see how strange we actually look, and how strange everything looks. That just made my anxiety worse so I quickly got what I needed to get and got the hell out of there. I then brought it up to my boyfriend, Max, in the car and he didn’t really understand what I was trying to explain to him but he said some soothing words and it calmed me down. They next couple of days I gradually got worse with the flu-like symptoms and I went to the doctor and she told me to just get rest and fluids. I did as she ordered but it did not help one bit. Finally Christmas eve arrives and I am sick as a dog, I felt unbelievably weak, I felt like I was dying. Max bundled me up and brought me to his parent’s house to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas day with them, I of course did not want to get out of bed but Max insisted it would make me feel better. I ended up lying on the couch bundled up, thinking I could not possibly feel any worse than I do now. The next morning I felt better but still felt awful. After opening presents max and I depart back to my house. That’s when I started to go downhill again. My mom came over and saw how bad off I was and her and max brought me to the hospital. They swabbed me for the flu and strep throat and both came back negative. I explained my symptoms to the doctor but she just deduced it to some virus that was going around and gave me a steroid shot. So we head back home and I try to go to sleep. The next couple of days I feel a little better but still feel like death. I am really starting to worry my boyfriend and the whole time I start developing these fears about life which I’ve never had a problem with before. Questions like “Are we just brain function and nothing more”, “Is the reason why we are here merely just evolutional causes?” questions that would have never bothered me before and would have been dismissed now were driving me crazy. It drove my anxiety up the wall. I thought I was going crazy and thinking you are going crazy only makes you crazier. By the way, if you have read this far YOU ARE AMAZING and I truly appreciate it. So for the rest of December I felt like I was dying and losing my mind, fun right? New Years Eve roles around I that’s when I start to feel a lot better, keep in mind I still was suffering from body aches (mainly in my lower back) and ear pressure. But I was thinking it was just the after effects of the strange “virus” I had. During this time I pushed the existential question in the back of my mind and tried my best to cover them up. Okay so I just looked at how much I have typed and I am realizing that if I don’t start summing things up I am going to end up writing a novel. So from the months of Janurary to March, I was really suffering spiritually, I was caught up in thinking the worst about life but I still did not know what a spiritual awakening was. During this time I went to two doctors, one was just my general doctor and the other was an ENT (for the pressure/ringing in my ears). My general doctor took two blood test and both came back completely normal and she explained I was very healthy. The ENT doctor said my ears were perfectly fine. So that was when I turned to the Internet for help. Yet I couldn’t find anything that truly fit with what I was going through. So through the months of April to July I was in the dark, I still couldn’t understand what was happening to me, I was depressed and anxious. If Max wasn’t there I don’t know what I would have done, he was my rock. Finally, I came across spiritual awakening. I looked at the symptoms and the matched what I was going through. I felt like I finally found the answer I was looking for. It made complete sense with what they call the vibrational flu (the flu-like symptoms I was experiencing early on) to the constant searching of a deeper meaning to life. And the other symptoms I was experiencing like the visual snow, eye-floaters, after images, back aches (lower and now it had moved to mid-upper), ear ringing (and sometimes pressure), and the emotional rollercoaster. Today I still have all of those symptoms I listed above and I still suffer from lack of faith, I tend to keep telling myself this is all just wishful thinking. I am currently working on establishing a better faith and I am reading, “I am the Word” by Paul Selig, which is a channeled book straight from his spirit guides and is a guide to connect with your higher self. So if you read all of this WOW you are truly awesome, and I just want to thank you.
Love and Light,