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Since 12/07, for me, things have been intense. A left-brained, Corporate warrior for thirty-five years and good at it, following retirement in July 2006, when I thought I could get 'caught up' on my spiritual side (I've always been spiritual), several things occurred which created The Perfect Storm. Obviously, a lot of energies were being shaken out of me, getting unkinked as it went. Ouch!! Then an extreme and accidental Vitamin D overdose which wasn't discovered for almost a year; the message I got was that I might have retired, but I wasn't 'still' enough yet. I was slain. Everything stopped in my life. Cold.
The depths of the consequences of the overdose cannot be overstated. How much of the subsequent incidents was due to the ongoing, energy clearing?
Suffice it to say, I have punched about here and there and everywhere trying to find help to discover the meaning in all of it; was it the ancestral work which was new as a result of a genealogy project which put me back in touch with a family I'd lost touch with forty years ago? Was I ascending? With money gone, I began to look for work, and for the first time ever, I was rejected. Even the old stand-by, work, was gone. Was I becoming a mystic? I found myself reading everything I could find online, and the more I read, the more I found. Also found my way into a group with interesting members, including a nutrition scientist bent on achieving the highest level of consciousness he could master. I tried numerous healers; eventually finding one in South Africa with whom I feel a true connection. Fortunately, all other aspects of my life were in pretty good order, simple/minimal. I learned to take one day at a time; The Infinite Way. Connecting with the Divine within. My unique, individual spirituality. My three siblings suddenly went through life altering medical situations which rendered their productive lives at an end. Their children turned to me; they responded as if I might have some Light. To remain strong, in the Light-not allowing the darkness to overtake me has been my greatest challenge. A major family reunion where I presented the genealogy to a family bent on redeeming us all into their fundamentalist religion before the Rapture; these more dense energies almost pulled me under-into the murky shadow pond. In the interim, I experienced a hitherto unknown phenomena: I had anxiety so badly that it went into suicidal ideation. Fortunately, I had a local friend, a spiritual facilitator, whom I called when things got tough. She was familiar with the ancestral work I was doing, and she, after making sure a 911 call was NOT in order, asked if I'd had any relative commit suicide. I said that, coincidentally, I'd just heard from a great granddaughter of a Great Uncle who had. This coincidence was a big one; we'd lost that entire family line until this contact was made-AND the fact of the suicide was revealed to me by a LDS genealotist in Salt Lake City. Either my family didn't know about it, or it was a family secret. As my friend and I continued to talk, her leading suggestion sunk in. I said 'I know what I need to do.' I hung up and using my aromatherapy altar, I lit incense and a candle, and invoked, with his permission, Great Uncle Charlie's spirit and released it. Also the spirit of his daughter, who'd been in a mental hospital. This took all of about three to five minutes; the depth and intensity of my emotions were at the Soul level. Suddenly and completely, they were gone, and I experienced relief which immediately restored me to Me. I reported back to my friend, who said I'd done a shamanistic journeying. This fourth dimensional process was new for me. I'd always felt like a 3D person operating from a 5D perspective. Was there reason to fear this dimension? I didn't know, but I knew that I'd always been steered away from it by my family and other healers as potentially dangerous. I want to fill my role, but as is evident here, except for always being an effective pollyanna in a world of naysayers, against some pretty difficult odds, I am struggling to know just what it means now for me to be a place holder, a Lightworker. It is being sewn together as I go.
So it is with gratitude that I found your work, Julie. I spend a lot of time in the Purification section of your work. I know that I have to be purified in order to do work which involved darkness.
Interesting that as of last evening, I feel like something has, like a slingshot, released, and today I spent doing typical every day Monday things. It feels like something, for me, is finally coming together. I feel more stable than before. The South African healer with whom I am working indicates that she will continue to offer healing on my behalf. Also, another intuitive healer, recommended by my local friend responded that he couldn't help me, and highly suggested I seek prayer from his mentors, which I did. This frightened me at first, as I was a part of one of his ensuing teleconferences wherein others asked him questions similar to my own; I thought 'oh, my goodness; I'm into that dark stuff.' Now, though, I believe I was referred for prayer as a method for me to be strengthened and protected and purified' this was his way of best supporting me; and this feels good!
This observation alone, how it is I tend to lead with a fear or a negative, when it all is always in Divine order, is my biggest lesson. I see this everywhere with me right now.
Grace has always gone before me, and I know that it always shall.
I trust the Universe implicitly. It has never let me down yet.
In Blessed Peace and Love and Light,