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The Latest Test of My Faith

by Elle

I recently went through a period of a year where I was unemployed. I took a break and secluded myself from the outside world during that year. It felt very peaceful and I was feeling a very strong connection to Spirit. But the bills were piling up and I had to eventually find another job...

So I recently started a new job (which I've already quit) and from the very beginning, there were not-so-nice people there who talked about me, gossiped, and made me feel extremely uncomfortable. I didn't discuss any spiritual stuff with them so I know that had nothing to do with it. Even the few people who were nice to me, I would catch them in lies alot and question their intentions for befriending me. But that wasn't the worst of it. There was actually a Shaman sorcerer with not-so-good intentions that worked there too. I felt like I was surrounded by non-trustworthy hurtful people that wanted to steal my energy or hurt me. It almost felt "evil" if you believe in that word. But I wonder why I was brought to a place that was so concentrated with this energy. I haven't felt like this in any situation in my entire life and I'm wondering if this is just a test of my faith? I ended up quitting and taking myself out of that environment, it was AWFUL. It might sound crazy, but some people even seemed like they weren't even really human. Almost as if they were emotionless and had blank looks in their eyes - their eyes just weren't "right". Am I being paranoid? Or is this something that's surfacing right now because of all the changes? I don't want to be around that anymore. Will this sort of thing follow me because of my higher vibration? I'm keeping the faith, but I'm still struggling. This was a slap in the face after I had spent the wonderful, peaceful year in seclusion. I'm not sure I want to go out into the world anymore if this is what I will have to look forward to. It feels like I'm in a movie and it's not real. Does anyone else feel like these darker beings with blank stares are surfacing more in their lives recently? And if so, how do you deal with it?

Lots of Love,

Comments for The Latest Test of My Faith

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Dec 06, 2010
by: Anonymous

I've felt for a long time that there IS no purpose in my life, at least not as we usually understand the term 'purpose'. Just as I've felt unable to continue in my usual work and although I've studied many different metaphysical topics and learned a great deal. I seem to have absorbed a great deal of information over the past 20 years, studied everything I've wanted to study but when it comes to applying it I don't feel any sense of purpose. If I have any purpose I feel it's simply to vibrate what I know, in fact, I know that's what I do. I see the futility within many jobs, doing things for the sake of doing them, business for the sake of busyness, creativity for the sake of creating - anything at all. I see the earth cluttered up with useless monuments to mark man's so called progress. In fact what I've felt over the past 20 years was that mankind needs to STOP and SLOW down rather than speed up. I see people doing jobs that don't need doing, spending less time with family for the sake of keeping those pointless jobs. I see what is, supposedly a very rich world in which many people are performing tasks every day and creating situations themselves that they can then busy themselves with helping people out of so that they can call it 'WORK'. I see how mankind CREATES it's own problems so that it can then PROVIDE it's own solutions JUST FOR THE SAKE OF IT. In seeing that I see a false work ethic that says we must work HARD, FAST, and POINTLESSLY if we are to BE someone. I think as a species mankind is the most dangerously creative of all. Animals create only what they need. We should take a leaf out of their book.

Dec 04, 2010
How about this ...
by: j.m.

What if it was deliberate?

What if it was unpleasant, unworkable, untenable simply because it was wrong for you to be so unhappy?

I wonder how you might have felt inside your skin if you had instead pursued a love of an activity you'd do without even thinking of getting paid?

There were these hiccups in my life recently; I won't say they didn't hurt, because they did. They were terribly upsetting, but in looking them over from here, I'm sensing a sense of accomplishment I'd had in my life, which was then reset on me. And I found myself having to start all over again, on entirely unfamiliar ground.

That having been said? Pursuing something I actually *wanted* to do (photos, animals, family, a healthy open life) would never have been started had I stuck around on that nice mound of accomplishment my life had seen; it was time to start a different mound that would feel better yet. It was nice the way it was, very very nice. And it's nicer now, much more so than before. But the transition? Yikes. Knocked sideways in every way that one can be knocked.

There's a saying, which of course I can't remember right now (my mind is .. .uhm ... ) but it's something like 'do what you love and the money [or safeguarding and protection] will follow.'

Nov 21, 2010
Same here ...
by: Anonymous

Elle - you're not paranoid. Exactly the same thing happened to me at the beginning of 2010. I was working at a children's hospital but just couldn't reconcile myself with the office politics or the clinical politics either for that matter. So I found another job withing the health service but after only 3 days at the new job I actually found myself sitting at my desk, packing my belongings back into my bag whilst checking the exits and planning my escape! I have NEVER in my life felt so uncomfortable within a group of people and environment. I tried to reason with myself, I'm divorced, live alone, needed the money etc. The actual 'emptiness' of the the work I was doing as a Medical PA became so apparent. Shuffling paper, arranging fruitless meetings and writing numerous emails just seemed a total waste of time and energy and I couldn't bear the thought of wasting another second of my life there. I saw the waste of time, resources, space etc and the organisation for what it was. I just picked up my things and left at lunchtime without a word to anyone. I just felt that if I stayed in that building with those people doing the work I was doing, that I'd die - simple as that. After that I developed an awful itchy rash all over my body which stayed with me for several months and I know it was all related.

Oct 08, 2010
holding the light
by: DR

Thank you for writing with your question. I'm familiar with the energy you are talking about, and no, it is not pleasant at all. Yes, it is something that is manifesting on the earth at this time, but no, it does not exist in every work place.

There are times and places when I experience this 'assault on the light', and while it feels horrible, it does not go on and on. I think it is a good thing to ask in your prayers about the purpose of it being in your life. The answers may make it easier to bear.

I don't know why your re-entrance to the work world had to have that energy to it. In my experience the energy you are experience is part of what is being purified on the earth and from the earth right now. Also, this kind of energy does come to oppose the light.

It is good to be steadfast. It is good to pray for light and for those that need healing, and to answer those questions as to whether there is a purpose in God's reality for you to be around these energies.

In my experience, these kinds of things are often thrust upon those of us who experience them, because most of us are not conscious of ever wanting to choose to have to contend with these energies. However, this is the work of the Christ on earth, the work of the highest light to transform the darkness.

So I would pray about it. I don't think you necessarily need to remain in a situation that you don't want or need to be. The question spiritually is one of what your purpose is and how you hold yourself in relation to these energies, with God.

See "The 'Cross Of The Four Crowns' and The Future Of The Earth":

and also especially "Purification And The Mission Of The Christ":

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