Re: Transitioning to a Fifth Dimensional Energy Matrix
i wrote a really long letter to you with the address provided, and it was returned.
not sure why or what to do with my letter, so here it is.......
I just read your wonderful Transitioning to a Fifth Dimensional Energy Matrix, and for some reason I felt I could write to you about this. I felt a connection. I hope you don't mind me writing!
I find myself in between this place of being ready to do what I came here to do, what I know is my purpose, and having some people come to me for guidance, yet I am finding myself bombarded with emotions and wounds I thought were healed.
The insecurities, neediness, hurt feelings over really nothing, oversensitivity to so many things said, not said, done, not done, on and on.
I really felt I was in a place to move to the next phase, I even started a website!
Just as I was feeling the emotions you spoke of, and feeling like "OMG this can't STILL be in me, I came upon your posting.
I don't know where to go with this anymore. I have worked and worked and worked on it, cried rivers of tears, talked it over to death, and it's still there. This feeling of not good enough, not cared about enough, only important when someone needs me, not appreciated enough. So needy like having to be reassured etc. Etc. Etc.!!
There are times when I am counseling that I don't feel that way, or I go through periods where I feel I am really healed, then WHAM!
I am 50 years old, have been through counseling, have worked my behind off at healing, have been on this spiritual path for over 15 years, and here I am writing to a complete stranger asking for help with the SAME stuff I was dealing with at 14 years old!! Yes I have come a long way, indeed I have but ????
I feel I should sit in a dark quiet room and let it all rip! But then I do that, and nothing! It's the situations that bring it up, and then I'm not in a position to FEEL it in order to HEAL it if you know what I a mean. Then I say things to people about how I feel and how they have hurt me, and I am faced with blank stares, or defensiveness.
I don't WANT to have to say ANYTHING TO THEM! It's not about THEM! It's about ME! But I always do, or many times do, then I feel I have leaked my energy and I feel worse.
Oh I hope this makes sense, and thank you for letting me get it all out with no holding back.
With much gratitude and much love,
Thank you so much for writing. I feel the connection too. I am so sorry your e-mail to me did not get through. I tried to find your e-mail address on our mailing list from your name, but I could not find a way to contact you. I am not sure that you will be notified of my response here, and so the only way I can respond to your message is here. If you see this message, please leave a comment so we can communicate. If you prefer, I can remove this page once we are in touch.
You are not alone in what you are experiencing. Many people that I am in touch with are feeling deeper layers of their purification process coming up. It can feel really endless and quite discouraging at times.
The important thing to know about this is that feeling and experiencing the energies and emotions that are coming up is all that is needed. It is your intention for healing and your intention for service that is catalyzing the process. It can be VERY frustrating. I can't tell you how many times I was plunged into despair by feeling the same old, same old pain and energies coming up over and over again.
The positive thing about all this, is that it WILL end. Gradually these energies will shift and you will not be plagued by them. Many of us are in transition right now, being prepared for new levels of service and yet still dealing with energies and emotions from the past cycle of time.
Even though your process is still intense, this does not mean that your calling to begin your healing work is not real and true.
One of the difficult paradoxes of the purification process is that there is very little we can do to stop the energies and emotions when they are releasing, or to make ourselves feel better. We simply have to go through it.
It is not necessary to share what you are going through, or express the energies or emotions unless your inner guidance tells you that you need to do this. In fact, sometimes sharing, depending on who you are connecting with, can activate other energies and cause additional challenges.
At this time in your process when many of the emotions are repetitive and have already been seen and felt many times, a simple prayer and acknowledgment of the healing that is happening is enough.
Julie Redstone has written some articles about this, some of which you can find on her blog Essentials of Purification
. She also wrote a helpful article on the process of Releasing
which addresses some practical ways you can support the process.
I hope you are able to see this message dearest one. Thank you for writing.